Research has proven the benefits of gratitude – everything from improved health and happiness, to strengthened relationships and enhanced workplace culture. While there are countless ways to practise gratitude, often clients get overwhelmed by where to start.

This fall, pick three from the list below to try. Consider practising one every day, one each week and one per month. You might be surprised by how these small acts can make a big impact.

Ways to practise gratitude

Keep a journal. Write down what you’re thankful for. Be as specific as possible. For example, rather than saying, “My family”, explore what particularly about your family makes you feel grateful.

Express your thanks. Tell people how appreciative you are to have them in your life. Again, try to be specific. You can do this in person, over email or text, or by sending a handwritten letter.

Pay more compliments. It’s nice to hear compliments about your appearance, but try complimenting someone on their abilities, how they relate to others, or how they handled a situation. Go a little deeper.

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Often, we rush through our day and take much for granted. Pull over for a minute and take in that sunrise on the way to work. Watch your kids playing in the backyard. Savour the feel of your partner’s hand in yours.

Give credit where credit is due. Acknowledge someone’s great work or the fact they went the extra mile – whether at home or the office.

Notice subtle changes in those you care for. Does one of your co-workers seem down? Your child more distracted than usual? Your spouse withdrawn? Pay closer attention to how people in your life are behaving – and consider how you might be able to respond.

Celebrate milestones – large and small. Acknowledging birthdays can be just as meaningful as remembering people’s work anniversaries, kid’s graduation, or marking the end of a project.

Recognize those in service to others. Whenever possible, thank those who protect, care for and serve the community – from local firefighters or members of the armed forces, to the person who delivers your mail or cleans your work space.

Do random acts of kindness. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has a ton of fabulous ideas on its website. These acts can make people feel seen and appreciated. Guaranteed you’ll feel pretty good too!

Make quality time. The best gift you can give others is your presence. Carve out a little extra time in your day for those you love.

Be mindful of how often you complain, compare or gossip. All three of these behaviours can have harmful, long-term effects on you and others. Speak more kindly.

Get out in nature. Show appreciation for the earth that sustains us. Take a walk. Dangle your feet over the edge of a dock. Stare up at the stars. Explore somewhere new.

Be self-compassionate. Extend love to yourself. Treat yourself as though you would a close friend.

If you want to dig deeper into the science behind gratitude, read a fascinating white paper by Summer Allen at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley or check out this article.

You can also book an appointment with Jennifer.

Transitioning into a new season: Q&A with Jennifer

This time of year is full of change as we move from the lazy days of summer into the steadiness of fall. The days are getting shorter. Leaves are transforming. Kids are back to school. Work might be picking up pace. You could be headed back to the gym.

Here are common questions clients typically ask Jennifer as September kicks off – and the answers.

Q: I’m feeling anxious about getting into a routine again. Is that normal?

A: Absolutely. It’s a common experience. Any transition can leave us feeling a range of emotions – from excitement to fear. Many often feel uncomfortable or uncertain about what’s ahead.

While an adjustment, I personally like to think of September as a new beginning or reboot. It can be full of opportunities too. It’s all about your perspective.

Q: Do you have any suggestions for how I can manage my anxiety?

A: Here are a few. I encourage you to try one or two. Or, to book an appointment with me so we can make a plan that’s best for you:

Q: I tend to get into a slump in the fall and spend a lot of time watching TV. How can I get out of the funk?

A: A lot of us try to avoid discomfort or other feelings associated with transitions by engaging in numbing activities like watching TV or spending hours scrolling social media. Neither of those is a bad thing by the way – but in moderation. There’s a difference between getting true enjoyment out of something like watching a favourite show, versus mentally checking out or muting your feelings.

Try to focus on activities that energize you or bring you joy. Get outside and take in the crisp fall air. Book a date with friends. Give yourself something to look forward to. If you find you can’t shake it, there may be something more going on besides being in a funk. I’m always here to help.

Q: I want to try something new this fall but am overwhelmed by where to start. I’m worried I’ll end up doing nothing. Any advice?

A: Make an exhaustive list of things that interest you – everything you can think of. Maybe you’ve never had time for them or you’ve been too nervous to try them out. They can be big or small.

For example:

Now commit to picking two from the list to do. Choose one that’s somewhat easy and another that might be more challenging. Be sure to block time off in your calendar for them. Find a support person who can hold you accountable too.

Q: How can I bring the positive vibe of summer with me into September?

A: Find simple ways to enjoy the bits of summer you take the most pleasure in. Though it may be too cold to swim at the beach, that doesn’t mean you can’t take a walk along the waterfront. Or that it’s time to put away the barbecue. One easy thing to do is open up your windows and blinds as often as you can and let the sunshine in! That vitamin D can make all the difference.

Have a question for Jennifer? Send her an email or book an appointment.

Depression isn’t just being sad or down for a few days – it’s much bigger and more persistent than that. It can impact not only the way someone feels, but how they think and act. If you know someone struggling with depression, it can be painful to watch and your first instinct may be to jump in with advice.

Here are 7 things to do instead:

  1. Educate yourself. Do a little research on what depression is and what your loved one may be going through. Common experiences include feeling hopeless or worthless; losing interest in things one normally enjoys; low energy or fatigue; withdrawing from friends and family; and not being able to pay attention or make decisions.

  2. Don’t make assumptions. People experience depression in their own ways. Avoid comparing or thinking what they’re going through is similar to someone else. And remember that what eases symptoms for one person might not be what helps the person you love.

  3. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. Instead, be a compassionate listener. Use phrases like, “I’m here for you” or “Is there something I can do?” Don’t try to fix – as hard as that might be. Just be there for them.

  4. Watch your words. Be careful not to shame the person or minimize what they’re going through as it could be more damaging. Avoid making comments like, “People have it worse than you”,  “Stop feeling sorry for yourself”, “Think positively” or “Why can’t you just snap out of it?” Validate their feelings by saying, “That must be really hard” or, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

  5. Help in small ways. Those suffering from symptoms of depression may have difficulty managing everyday activities like running errands or cleaning the house. Don’t wait for an invitation to step in either, show up and say, “I’m here to X.” Sometimes, it’s really hard for people to ask for support because they’re embarrassed, ashamed, or simply can’t muster up the strength.

  6. Encourage them to seek professional help. Let your loved one know they don’t have to suffer on their own. The first step could be talking to their family doctor or a mental health provider, such as a counsellor. Offer to go along with them and to help prepare a list of questions to ask in their initial appointment.

  7. Reach out. Check in with the person regularly and watch for signs that may indicate they’re thinking of suicide. Often people who are suicidal will try to tell us they need help with behaviours, actions or comments that seem out of character. In counselling, we call these invitations. They can include:

If you suspect someone may be suicidal, don’t wait to take action – call 911 immediately.
Remember to take care of yourself too. Your mental health is just as important.
Want more strategies to support someone you love? Book an appointment with Jennifer.

Whether you need to talk to your boss about something that’s bothering you or chat with a loved one about a sensitive subject, here are a few tips to help you prepare:

  1. Know your end goal or outcome. Conversations can weave and bend in all kinds of directions. Often we talk around something – for many reasons, like nervousness or fear of hurting someone else – rather than getting to the point. Knowing exactly where you want to steer the discussion or what you want to achieve can help you keep on track.

  2. Consider the timing. It’s unfair to spring a difficult conversation on someone who isn’t ready for it (e.g., they just walked in the door or they’re rushing from a meeting). If you can, let the other person know you want to talk and ask when it would be best for them. Even better? Schedule something in their calendar and let them know what it’s about so they can prepare too.

  3. Think about location. Pick a spot that’s free from distraction, especially by others. But also consider choosing a place where you not only feel safe but can easily exit if you need to.

  4. Get your emotions in check. Having a conversation when you’re angry or upset is not ideal and generally won’t end well. Allow for some distance first. Sometimes our emotions can cloud our judgment, other times they can make things clear.

  5. Think about your “I” statements. A difficult conversation will only be harder when there’s judgement or blame. Using “I” statements is a good way to let someone know how you feel without shaming or accusing them. For example, “When you do X, I feel/think…”

  6. Explore your assumptions. Going into the conversation, what are you assuming – about the situation, about how the other person feels or will react? What are your assumptions based on and is it possible they could be wrong?

  7. Anticipate questions. What might the other person ask? Make a list and figure out a response so you’re prepared – even if the response is that you don’t have an answer.

  8. Put yourself in their shoes. Consider how they might be feeling, what they may be experiencing or going through. Bring along some empathy and compassion.

  9. Keep an open mind. Often we run scenarios in our head or get caught up in old stories that prevent us from providing space for other possibilities. Are you walking into the conversation with your mind already made up? Or with your back up? By definition, a conversation is a talk, between two or more people, in which ideas are exchanged. Are you ready to allow for that exchange?

  10. Practise active listening. This is when you listen to someone without being quick to jump in with your own thoughts. You’re fully present and immersed in what the other person is saying. Try practising with someone else first before you have that difficult conversation.

Want more strategies or support to prepare? Book an appointment with Jennifer.

Stress and anxiety are two completely normal human experiences that can impact any area of our life. They tend to be seen as negative, but sometimes they can be useful – signalling we need to make changes in our life, bringing awareness to a situation that needs addressed, or motivating us to take action on an issue we’ve been ignoring. But when stress and anxiety make it hard to manage the day-to-day, they can start to significantly impact our work and relationships.

Here are a few proven techniques you can try to better manage both. Not all of them may resonate with you. Try experimenting with this list or doing a few in combination:

  1. Add more movement to your day. You don’t need to buy a gym membership, join a class or a sports team (although, all of those are great strategies) – it can be as simple as stretching or taking a 10-minute walk.

  2. Be more mindful. Pay attention to when stress and anxiety seem to show up. Are they triggered by a situation, a person, are they constant? How do they present on your body (e.g., headache, nausea)?

  3. Get out in nature. Some fresh air and sunshine can help clear your mind and offer perspective. Research also shows that trees can help reduce stress – so take a stroll in a local park or forest, if you can.

  4. Watch what you consume. Not just unhealthy foods or drink, but what you watch on TV, what kind of music you listen to, what appears on your social media feeds. All of this can play a role in fuelling or easing your stress and anxiety.

  5. Avoid procrastinating. Check one thing off your to-do list. Clean up the kitchen before you go to bed. Respond to that call or email you don’t want to. Go run that small errand. Clear away the clutter on your desk. These small acts can make a big impact and your tomorrow self will thank you for it.

  6. Write it out. Journalling or writing down what’s going on can help you process, make sense of things, discover connections, or see a bit more clearly. It can also simply be an opportunity for you to put into words how you’re feeling without holding back or fear of judgment.

  7. Do something you love. Make time in your day for activities or hobbies that bring you joy – whether it’s gardening, painting, tinkering in the garage or reading a book.

  8. Focus on the now. We can’t undo the past and we can’t predict the future, so try being more present and in the moment. If you’re brushing your teeth, just brush your teeth. If you’re in a meeting, be in that meeting. Don’t let what might have been or what might be interrupt what is.

  9. Learn to say no. Protect your energy and time. People who care about you may be disappointed when you decline an invitation, decide not to attend a social event or politely bow out of a project, but they’ll understand.

  10. Catch some extra zzzs. While it can vary from person to person, most adults need between seven to nine hours of sleep. Try adding in another half hour or 20 minutes if you can. Go to bed a bit earlier.

  11. Practise gratitude. Research shows gratitude is good for our minds, bodies and our relationships. Keep a gratitude journal or before you go to bed think of a few things you’re grateful for from the day.

  12. Connect with a loved one. Spend time with someone who fills your cup – someone who supports you, encourages you and makes you feel heard, understood and safe.

  13. Watch your self-talk. Are you constantly shaming or putting yourself down? Talk to yourself like you would a friend – with kindness, compassion and empathy.

  14. Just breathe. No matter where you are or what’s going on in your day, taking a few long, deep breaths can make a difference.

Want more strategies? Don’t find any of these techniques are working? Reach out to Jennifer and book an appointment. Together, you can create a plan that’s right for you